Tarnished Parts

"this love is so new, it squeaks and shines 

and lies a little bit,

got secrets and shit to hide

a little bit"

- Zora Howard

We will drink beer 

and try out restaurants 

and make reservations and 

dress up for dinner. 

you will giggle at my feistiness,

you will find all my faults adorable and endearing. 

we will sit on the same side of the corner booth and hold hands and touch each other underneath the table. 

you will find my scars beautiful, worth exploring, you will find the possibilities of me endless.

you will buy me cheap white dresses that barely cover my legs
and we'll try to make out in poorly lit hookah bars
against doors
while the whole world barely lends us a look
your mouth will bend my name into barely heard sounds that flit past my ears.
your teeth will explore and bite at places the sun cannot see
you will want me, all bold, all black, all skin and bones
all dark and terrible
all sinful
all drenched,
all wet,
all shaking.

i have tried to obey the saints and the apostles
but i have run across the rain with you
and explored your lips in unbelievably beautiful places
and places that were breathtaking because you were there
and i was there
and the day was yellow and beautiful and smelled like Awka after the rare rain at the peak of harmattan

i'm new to this,
this reawakening and longing of a body.
i have stood on ledges,
on train platforms,
and fantasized about taking another step forward.
so hold me, while this love is still brand new
while we try to convince ourselves that we're not just stopping by for a moment.
lets pretend that we can be normal lovers,
waking up to each other
you drinking coffee; me telling you that coffee is terrible for you.
lets pretend that this is forever before you get to the tarnished parts
the small towns on this body that were burnt down and colonised before you reached this land

But,
your hands, young man, feel like the right thing to make this skin into fiery sunsets
and that is reason enough
to make camp here
if only, for the night.


love,
leggy