Sunday, June 19, 2011
so on thursday, i hung out with my friend L and her boyfriend S. i love them to death.
S drove us to the lake in my college, bought us smoothies and then left us ladies to our walk. we walked for two hours, just talking and then walked home also. we were sweating so bad, when we got home, he asked us to go take a bath and then off we went to wine loft.
wine loft is this really classy place in the city i live in, it's 21 and up but when we got there, i didn't get carded, they just let me go on which was awesome for me ofcourse. we met up with some of our friends who were already there and had a blast just talking over glasses of wine. the guy my friend came with kept fawning over me and telling me how sexy my accent is.
sometimes when i get asked out by a white guy, one part of me wonders how much of that attraction is because i'm nigerian and how much of that attraction is because of me. would he still have found me attractive if i were just african american?
the only african american girlfriend i have told me that white guys are attracted to me because they see me as being exotic. *kanye shrug*. i don't let it keep me up at night.
on saturday night i went out with my asian friends. a girl i met at an interview for an internship which we both had to turn down because of some legal stuffs when we were offered the job and one of her guyfriends..lets call him K.
p.s: to nigerians, *chinco* is a racist term, you have to effing stop using it.
anyway, we went to a bar somewhere around my school and just hung out but because it is summer and K was really trying to get laid but the bar was really empty we left and went downtown.
downtown has 21 and older bars,during school periods i always go with my friends who always know someone they never card me, they just let me go in. no such luck tonight. i couldn't get in anywhere. i hate being a bummer, i even offered to get dropped off so that they can go on but noooo...they decided to go to walmart and rent a movie, get a couple of bottles of wine and just chill at home which we ended up doing. it turned out to be fun, we watched the roommate which sucked balls and had so much fun insulting everyone associated with the movie. plus K paid for everything, i felt like i was back in nigeria all over again and K kept telling me types of asian guys i should never date.
the Asian girl i was with told us that she is not attracted to asian guys, i told her how i thought that was BS cos if she hadn't come to america, what would she had done? anyway, to each his own. i am not in anyway attracted to african-american men, maybe thats why the whole 'african-american men are not attracted to black women' don't bother me. i once had an argument with my african-american guy friend who told me he did not care for black women and i replied:'oh, thats cool with me, it's all about preference isn't it? i can't date an african-american guy either so it's all good', dude got so mad at me eh and till today still brings it up whenever i see him.
so it's cool not to be attracted to african-american women but when i say i'm not attracted to you, you take offense?
i told him, i'm only attracted to nigerian men and other races. sorry, you can not change my mind.
this wednesday we are stepping out again but this time we are going to be well armed with connections to get into places.lol. we already planned ahead of time.
i'm a very confident person but i am by no means a 10. i have never claimed to be a 10 and probably will never be. i have never been the most beautiful girl in a club/place or the best dancer, i am most times the thinest but my point is, despite all of this, i know my worth. someone asked me in the comments in the past post if the guys i date or talk to do not expect more from me, as per sex or relationship.
i am very upfront with all the guys i date. i have never lied to them.
a) i always tell the guys i am 'talking to' that i will never be in a relationship with them. i clearly tell them that we are not dating, i am not his girlfriend neither is he my boyfriend and that he will never be. i am very clear about this earlier on. fact is, most guys i have 'talked' to go into this thinking that 'oh, i am going to change her mind' and when 6 months later they ask me to go steady and i say no. dude suddenly takes offense and suddenly twists the story to suit his ego. i am quite used to this scenario by now. yes, somewhere down the road i might meet a guy i want as a boyfriend but it hasn't happened yet and will not happen anytime soon. now, i am very happy being single.
b) i will not have sex anytime soon. my white friends do not know that i have never had sex. they just assume that a 19 year old virgin is non-existent, i do not correct them. i am old enough that i can talk sex, i can hold my own in any conversation. i have never lied to them but hey, noone has ever asked me explicitly if i'm a virgin or not.
for the nigerian guys, i tell them: 'i will not sleep with you'.
honesty is the best policy. i lay my cards out on the table and the other player can choose to withdraw or deal a hand. his choice.
soundtrack to this blog.
beginning - bei major - raindrops
middle - beyonce - best i never had
end - elvis - i can't help falling in love with you
hope y'all are awesome. how was your week?God bless you.
happy father's day to the best dad on earth!!! i love you so much!!
Sunday, June 12, 2011
so last semester was an awesome semester, i made really good grades and also had a ton of fun with awesome people, eliminated certain people from my life and basically was an all around blast.
last semester, i was also a serial dater. i went on tons of dates, some of them didn't even have a second. my friends fixed me up with so many people, it was a blast and it's even more awesome that i'm now friends with all these people especially my awesome friend carl.
the fact is: no matter how many people tell me that i'm lying, i do like being single. i am just 19, i believe i have a ton of time to get in to a serious relationship, i do not want to be tied down to a guy at this crucial time in my life. i really don't but i've learnt a ton of stuff this past semester.
my friends didn't hook me up with people they thought i was going to like, they simply did it for really selfish reasons.
- my friend hooked me up with a guy in her boyfriend's fraternity so that we could go on double dates if i liked the guy. the guy was really cute, he had the most gorgeous eyes i've ever seen, tall, blond(but you can tell that shit was bottle blond). anyway, this dude had no clue where nigeria is on the map, he asked me if 'nigeria is in europe?'. the fuck? are you serious? immediately he said that, i just got so turned off that i ended the night early by telling him that something i ate did not agree with me.
now everytime i hang out with him and his friends and we are having an argument, i always go 'this from the guy who didn't know that nigeria is in africa'.
- another memorable date i went to was with this really really cute black guy. let me first say that no matter how my friend tried to deny it, i know she set me up with this guy just because he is the only black guy she knows cos we did not have anything in common.
first of all, i have to say this guy is a nice guy and i will recommend him to any of my friends. he is unlike any other black american i have ever met, he held doors open, the way he talked about people, his pants were pulled up, he is just an all around sweetheart. the fact is i do not like push overs. i do not want a ridiculously nice guy.
okay, don't get me wrong. i do want a guy to treat me right, and be nice to my friends and i and all that mushy stuff but dude was too nice for me. i know this is a contradiction but i just couldn't handle or stand this guy anymore.
- i can't talk about this without mentioning Carl. Carl and i did not have any chemistry at all, at least on my side. we became friends right away. first of all, we got into an argument on how much social networks are important cos i said i was on facebook, tumblr, twitter and even blogger but get this: dude wasn't even on facebook. ha ha ha. i was like what?!
after that we got into an argument about Nigeria, dude knew too much about my country which was so refreshing, it showed that he had actually done his research on this girl he supposedly wanted to meet. i have to say that this is not the first time i met carl, i met him once before and he apparently asked his friend to set him up with me.
during the course of last semester, i set up a facebook account for carl who then changed his password and then refused to add anyone besides me on his facebook. so carl has only one friend on his facebook, namely moi and he spends all his time spamming me.
this dude once wrote on my wall:'*insert nickname* do not marry a nigerian, i can learn ibgo and love you in ibgo'. dude misspelt, igbo.
he is the most annoying guy i've ever met but i love him anyway. he graduated this past semester and i'm going to miss him so much. he wasn't that cute though, he was just about my height, black hair and just brown eyes but he was the funniest guy i'd ever met.
- lastly, the date with the guy i actually have a crush on. i have a huge crush on this asian guy. he is such a hottie, i swear all my friends want to kpansh him. anyway, dude and i met up for lunch, after lunch he drove me home and then we texted through out the day, he picked me up for dinner and we went to this sushi place. it was so pricey, i kept mentally checking the amount of money in my bank account cos i just did not want to be that girl who plain assumes that the guy is going to pay and then ends up embarrassing herself when the guy says:'please put on different cheques'. please note, dude and i have just been friends for the past year and a half so i wasn't going to just assume that dude wants anything to be different cos we have been talking so much lately and catching feelings. i have made myself realise that just because i am catching feelings doesnt always mean the other person is. it could be that they just enjoy your company or any of that crap.
sha sha, bill came and i just grabbed for the purse but asian guy asked the waiter to put it on one bill and asked me not to worry about it. i was so happy. usually, i ask the guy not to worry about it. i always try to pay for my stuff but to say i was broke that week is an understatement. anyway, after dinner we went laser tagging. let me say this: i suck at this game, like really suck at it. i got to loosen up though, i had a blast then on our way home we stopped over for icecream.
dude, paid for all these things oh. that day was probably the best date day i've ever had in my life.
so to say that last semester was a learning experience for me is an understatement.
have your friends ever set you up on a date before? how did it go down?!
soundtrack for this blog post:
beginning: drake - marvin's room
middle: the red jumpsuit - guardian angel
ending: psquare - forever
i finally blogged!! yay!!!