Sunday, June 19, 2011

leggy's nights out

so on thursday, i hung out with my friend L and her boyfriend S. i love them to death.
S drove us to the lake in my college, bought us smoothies and then left us ladies to our walk. we walked for two hours, just talking and then walked home also. we were sweating so bad, when we got home, he asked us to go take a bath and then off we went to wine loft.
wine loft is this really classy place in the city i live in, it's 21 and up but when we got there, i didn't get carded, they just let me go on which was awesome for me ofcourse. we met up with some of our friends who were already there and had a blast just talking over glasses of wine. the guy my friend came with kept fawning over me and telling me how sexy my accent is.
sometimes when i get asked out by a white guy, one part of me wonders how much of that attraction is because i'm nigerian and how much of that attraction is because of me. would he still have found me attractive if i were just african american?
the only african american girlfriend i have told me that white guys are attracted to me because they see me as being exotic. *kanye shrug*. i don't let it keep me up at night.

on saturday night i went out with my asian friends. a girl i met at an interview for an internship which we both had to turn down because of some legal stuffs when we were offered the job and one of her guyfriends..lets call him K.

p.s: to nigerians, *chinco* is a racist term, you have to effing stop using it.

anyway, we went to a bar somewhere around my school and just hung out but because it is summer and K was really trying to get laid but the bar was really empty we left and went downtown.
downtown has 21 and older bars,during school periods i always go with my friends who always know someone they never card me, they just let me go in. no such luck tonight. i couldn't get in anywhere. i hate being a bummer, i even offered to get dropped off so that they can go on but noooo...they decided to go to walmart and rent a movie, get a couple of bottles of wine and just chill at home which we ended up doing. it turned out to be fun, we watched the roommate which sucked balls and had so much fun insulting everyone associated with the movie. plus K paid for everything, i felt like i was back in nigeria all over again and K kept telling me types of asian guys i should never date.

the Asian girl i was with told us that she is not attracted to asian guys, i told her how i thought that was BS cos if she hadn't come to america, what would she had done? anyway, to each his own. i am not in anyway attracted to african-american men, maybe thats why the whole 'african-american men are not attracted to black women' don't bother me. i once had an argument with my african-american guy friend who told me he did not care for black women and i replied:'oh, thats cool with me, it's all about preference isn't it? i can't date an african-american guy either so it's all good', dude got so mad at me eh and till today still brings it up whenever i see him.
so it's cool not to be attracted to african-american women but when i say i'm not attracted to you, you take offense?
i told him, i'm only attracted to nigerian men and other races. sorry, you can not change my mind.

this wednesday we are stepping out again but this time we are going to be well armed with connections to get into we already planned ahead of time.

i'm a very confident person but i am by no means a 10. i have never claimed to be a 10 and probably will never be. i have never been the most beautiful girl in a club/place or the best dancer, i am most times the thinest but my point is, despite all of this, i know my worth. someone asked me in the comments in the past post if the guys i date or talk to do not expect more from me, as per sex or relationship.

i am very upfront with all the guys i date. i have never lied to them.

a) i always tell the guys i am 'talking to' that i will never be in a relationship with them. i clearly tell them that we are not dating, i am not his girlfriend neither is he my boyfriend and that he will never be. i am very clear about this earlier on. fact is, most guys i have 'talked' to go into this thinking that 'oh, i am going to change her mind' and when 6 months later they ask me to go steady and i say no. dude suddenly takes offense and suddenly twists the story to suit his ego. i am quite used to this scenario by now. yes, somewhere down the road i might meet a guy i want as a boyfriend but it hasn't happened yet and will not happen anytime soon. now, i am very happy being single.

b) i will not have sex anytime soon. my white friends do not know that i have never had sex. they just assume that a 19 year old virgin is non-existent, i do not correct them. i am old enough that i can talk sex, i can hold my own in any conversation. i have never lied to them but hey, noone has ever asked me explicitly if i'm a virgin or not.
for the nigerian guys, i tell them: 'i will not sleep with you'.

honesty is the best policy. i lay my cards out on the table and the other player can choose to withdraw or deal a hand. his choice.

soundtrack to this blog.
beginning - bei major - raindrops
middle - beyonce - best i never had
end - elvis - i can't help falling in love with you

hope y'all are awesome. how was your week?God bless you.

happy father's day to the best dad on earth!!! i love you so much!!


Mwajim Al said...

your post made me laugh - blunt and straight to the point. You are true to yourself - that's necessary to hold your forte in life. Good for you.

Mwajim Al said...

p.s. made me laugh in a humorous good kind of way, btw.

Myne Whitman said...

Honesty indeed is the best policy. BTW, I keep forgetting how old you really are. Keep that good head on, you hear?

DIDI said...

This is a very serious post,i love the way you added or put it Up in humor form..Honesty is indeed the best policy.

Pretty Lashes said...

I love how you just lay your cards on the table, people know where you stand from the get go.

You shouldn't feel like you have to tell them; like you said, they haven't asked and besides, even if they did, do you.

@ilola said...

So if they ask you if you are a virgin, what will you say? Will you tell them the truth or not? First time here and following.
Please, check my blog out at

amakatacoma said...

I have a hair routine on my blog

That 20 Something Virgin. said...

oh, letter B. that is pretty much what my entire blog is about.

i've done that before, told guys i won't have sex, and been subsequently "dumped" for it. such is life.

Barefeet said...

lol i hear u! the bit where they get involved in the hope of changing ur mind and realise 6 months down the line that it aint happening...unfortunately most guys i know wont even bother spending or whining or dining whilst they hope u change ur so that means no dates...theyll rather keep calling and going for walks with u and maximum buy u a slush whilst u walk keep goin girl all in support of the virgins...its definitely somein to be proud of

ur girl barefeet

Mimi B said...

You seem very grounded, that's a really cool thing. I'm feeling you blog, nice : )

MsNana_ said...

Great Post. Its funny that the guy took offence in you not being attracted to his type.

I am Ghanaian and though I am attracted to Ghanaian guys
I do not see myself with them for long term lol its weird
I have only been out with one Ghanaian and even he was half white lol.

first time on here
Love it
I'm staying

rookie tales said...

lol this is funny ,why would the guy take offense anyway every man to his own