Sunday, June 17, 2012

how to be single.

Meet a man. Talk to him at a party. watch him switch between spanish, french, and english. have a conversation about your country with him. stare at him wistfully as you announce that you're leaving. watch him not ask for your number. go home. stalk him on facebook. receive a friend request from him. let him tell you how he forgot to ask for your number. be secretly happy but don't mention it. make him wait. tell him you don't need more friends. agree to meet for drinks. remind him that you're not 21. make him sneak you into a 21 and older bar. argue with him about your country some more. let him tell you about his. tell him that he's the first american you've met that's trilingual. say 'trousers' and 'lift'. giggle as he makes fun of your accent. let him drop you home. talk to him everyday. let him introduce you to his friends. listen to them ask you if you're an 'african princess'. giggle. say no. giggle some more. spend a weekend out of town with him and his friends. let them badger you into drinking. have one drink. don't have more. go see 'The Black Keys' with him. don't wear sunscreen. dance till the clubs close the next morning. crash. wake up. do it all over again. let him make fun of your celibacy. giggle. let him send you pictures of ridiculous things. let him make you laugh. start liking him. go to poetry cafes with him. let him make you lunch. puke up your lunch. watch him look offended. watch him try to hide it. assure him that you have a low gag reflex. say 'it's not your food, it's me'. refuse to cook for him. let him call you sexy casually one day. smile. meet more of his friends. go have breakfast for dinner with him. hate his dog. no. be scared of his dog. make him hide it when you come. know that this is strike one against you. listen to his dreams. study with him. laugh too hard. like him more. giggle some more. go swimming with him. let him comment on your legs. smile coyly. let him offer you swimming lessons. have more breakfasts with him...for dinner. let him comment on how much you read.  let his friends call you 'the pretty nigerian'. be smug. love his friends more. like him even more. let him apply for his dream job. pray that he gets it even though you know he wont. he gets an interview. now, pray that he doesn't get it. he gets it. he graduates. remember his race. remember your parents won't like this. let him ask for an LDR. decline. enjoy the last couple of days you have. go back to the club he sneaked you into for the last time with him. spend a couple of days with him. watch him leave. let him call you. ignore.

love,
leggy.

6 comments:

YankeeNaija said...

love it.

Shanahfication said...

This is a nice read. LOL!!

www.shanahfied.blogspot.com

justsoyouknow said...

To make it short women want to be courted, playing hard to get only to be disappointed later that guy is not willing to play what the girl had orchestrated.
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Nathaniel Ayokunle said...

Nice write up tho.. But ma ques is why go tru A̶̲̥̅̊ℓℓ that wen ‎​U̶̲̥̅̊ knw ‎​U̶̲̥̅̊ gona end it up that way??

Biola Ojo said...

giggle....

Busola said...

Well, that must have sucked.