Saturday, September 22, 2012

to all the boys I could have loved.

CO - i wish with all my heart that i could love you.

CH - i don't know what i ever saw in you. i'm so glad that i snapped out of it. i just watched you from across the room one day and just snapped out of it. i'm sorry your father beat your mother but that is no excuse for potentially becoming him.

NO - you were too sensible for me. i did not need sensible at 15.

CO - i wish with all my heart that i could love you.

NW - you are the definition of negging. you probably invented that shit. at that time i thought it was cute that someone who hated me so much, suddenly liked me just as much. now, i know it was not cute. i do not enjoy being an experiment.

LO - i don't know why your girlfriend doesn't like me. i said no. i did not want you then, i do not want you now. we were young with patched lips, i don't think that counts.

CO - you deserve so much more than me.

RI - i don't know if it was the french accent or the body, but i've never liked anyone as much as i liked you. you ruined you for me. i drank a glass full of you and didn't get drunk. i wanted drunk. sober wasn't fun anymore.

ME - we made too much sense.  i knew from day 1 we'd never happen.

BI - I saw you for the first time in forever last week and regretted it.

LO - you are still my biggest mistake.

CO - i wish with all my heart that you weren't too good for me.

MI - i am done writing you love letters.

RO - i wrote the last batch of poems you'll ever feature in last night. i have finally accepted that this black skin will never melt into your middle eastern skin. you should accept that fact too. oh, and i hope you're happy with your arranged marriage.

CA - i enjoyed the money you spent on me. i missed that when i cut you off. i'm sorry i couldn't be one of many. i do not like sharing.

EM - we are not in a relationship. and stop having your mother call me.

RO - i fasted during ramadan for you.

CO - you are too kind for me. i don't deserve you.

GH - you dated my friend. do i really need to say more?

CA - telling a woman that you'd definitely cheat on her but she'd be your first and foremost concern is a fine touch, definitely the best thing to tell a girl you're asking out. you should use that line more often.

JI - you did not look like your name. i'm glad we ended the things we never even started.

MI - the crowded loneliness of college makes it so easy to fall in love doesn't it?

ON - you were gorgeous. i just refuse to date a republican.

LO - you are my biggest mistake.

CO - i wish with all my heart that i could love you.

BR - i wanted you between strip clubs and loud mouths and speckled art. i wanted you between comedy clubs and rowdy friends and new orleans and austin. i wanted you but you chose the suns of california and i chose comfort. you pulled out the girl i want so much to be, you should know that i lost her right after you left.




lovelife4sale said...

cool blog.... i like you take on all the reasons why things didnt work with the guys.

Nutty J. said...

I really wish with all my heart, that you could love CO.

Myne said...

You don't know what you're missing with republicans

Summer said...

LOL! republicans though....
i know an equivalent of a CO as well... *sigh

Busola said...

I have the equivalent of an RO. And fasting during Ramadan got me nowhere. If you don't mind I'd love to copy this idea on my blog. I'll cite you on it so I wont be guilty of plagiarism!

leggy said...

go for it girl!! i'd be happy to read it!

A said...

You are such a beautiful writer, can we please be friends

Sugabelly said...

How did I miss this? I have a list like this deep deep inside my diary. Every now and then I list all the boys I could have loved. Hahaha, fasting, I've been there. I did some crazy things because of love. So, are you with CO now? What happened? May I copy please? I can't think of what to blog about

Anonymous said...

Interesting...have you ever seen Jeanann Verlee's performance of her '40 Love Letters'? sounds very much like it :)