Friday, February 19, 2010

cupid missed

roses are red
violets maybe blue
let me tell you a story
of them, him and i

i miss him...
when my phone vibrates and a text message not from him comes in...
i miss him.

i walked away...i had to.did i mention that i am an expert at moving on?

i deleted the inboxes on facebook, msn and yahoo!
a step towards closure.
couldnt get myself to delete the phone messages;
a piece of us;me and him.
went through them earlier on
when he was him and i was me
when the story was about him and i
not them.

let me tell you a story about them.
they crept in slowly.
a question there, a smile there
feelings nipped here, feelings tucked there
resentment harbored sprang to light
privacy unlocked and public let out
boundaries crossed and hearts broken
they fed on my sadness;
on my confusion;
on my careless words
this is the story of them,him, and i

trust ruined and suspicion crept in
confusion on my face as i wonder at the stories
novels and volumes already written
about him and i
body now flinches as he comes close
memories edited and replaced
lips overflowing with words now close in silence
eyes brimming with happiness now shine with regret
heart adorned by roses now feel the thorns
tongues entwined are now being released
gravity once forgotten now pull us back to earth
nights filled with the promise of tomorrow now darken with the decisions of today

are you really going to let them win?
you are just going to walk away now?after this long?
famous last words;
spoken as hope crept slowly out of his voice
as the feelings drip slowly from his heart
as the happiness once found die slowly from our lives
so as i walk away from him at this crossroad,
grasping at the fading stories of our memories,
i smile as i think of that infectious laughter;
that rings out from that numbered guy..that i shared with blogville.

i was born sometime in september;
223 days from today,
but i wasnt born for him.

this is not a poem,
these are merely excerpts of thoughts,
this is my story of them, him and i.

roses finally showed their thorns,
violet's colours finally faded,
there lies love's grave,
of the numbered man i craved

hey blogville, how have you guys been doing? ive just been soo busy lately and so bored and tired of studying.mschewww.
you can ask me anything you want annonymously here: formspring.
about the post...i hope you do get the gist of it.i laughed after writing this, shook it off, gave a kanye shrug, then #ontothenextone.
the power of words still puzzle me, when i hear rumors and i let it get to me and it ruins my friendship with someone i care reminds me that im still very immature.:-(

fave fb status: "Every morning, I get up and look through the 'Forbes' list of the richest people in America. If I'm not there, I go to work."


muyiwa said...

Coming back to read,time to sleep

lahlah said...

I like this. I know what you mean about rumours, A while back, a friend of mine and I stopped speaking because of a rumor. I guess you just try to take people at face value or at least if you physically witnessed the wrong doing. and you immature? maturity is relative it you're probably more mature than you

Fragilelooks said...

in every rumor, dey say deres an atom of truth. Bt i fink mayb u shld talk it over wit d numbered one dan jst walking away. FOR ME... I DNT BLIEVE IN RUMORS. I TRY TO FIND OUT 4 MESLF.

2cute4u said...

As fragilelooks rightly pointed out, there's a string of truth in every rumor and it will not be right to totally ignore them but investigate still not letting it change your relationship with the person.. if you can handle both, you'd be fine, Then again, not all have an ounce of truth..

Barefeet said...

my sis i feel u jo...memories sometimes are so painful like u said where there was laughter now theres tears...sometimes the memories are so famously true that i began to question the authenticity of wat i remember..mscheww..sometimes id rather forget than keep them jare..

on the other hand as i read in the metro yesterday based on research and bla bla bla the reason we forget is too create space for things to remember...thatll be my next fb

shorty said...

I hate rumours and don't always believe them until i find out the truth. Just try and find out the truth then you can decide if you can continue staying with the person.

~Sirius~ said...

Isn't it amazing how the words flow when you're writing from deep inside. Like they all said, find out the Truth and it shall set you free! You'll be fine girl........LOL @ that FB stat....I'd go out and try and have a baby by 50cents and be a millionaire *KMT*

Azazel said...

Lol @ the fb status..
haha gosh, ur friends are something else

Miss Natural said...

I love it! like you must've been feeling it. I agree with Sirius, honestly its when I'm feeling stuff that I write my best. Aww I hope it sorts itself out, i agree with everyone, you should get to the bottom and dont give up. There could be some miscommunication and if its not sorted out then it could be too late.

Myne Whitman said...

I like that FB status, very funny. I know when you spoke about this and I said the same thing the numbered guy did. Why allow 'them' to win?

Smileyfreak said...

Thanks for sharing your thoughts :) It can't have been easy.

Good luck with the study,I'm in that boat too

Suru said...

Yep just lost a "friend" because of the rumor thing/ confrontational she said I said but I didn't say ish but whatevs found out we weren't even that good of friends. Love the facebook status

Ebony~!* said...

i lovedddd this, them :him n I:

neefemi said...

that fb status is powerful - gosh!!!

Mwajim Al said...

"i was born sometime in september;
223 days from today,
but i wasnt born for him."
One word for this sentence - powerful!

histreasure said...

that was real deep and i'l say just one thing...dont let what people say rule ur life cos one thing is true - people will always talk whether truth or lies...define ur rlnships urself.

love that fb stat...

Tisha said...

when folks start talking
i shut down

don't say a word
but i take everything

then at night
i re-evaluate

don't sweat the small stuff

akaBagucci said...

that FB status needs to be on my white board mehn.. excellent one... Re: the poem.. I don't know joor.. I personally think we don't forget people... we replace them...

Original Mgbeke said...

Awesome write up, Leggy. LOL @ that FB status, I need to start doing that too, maybe I will get motivated some to go to work. Hahaha.

Repressed One said...

I musta missed the background story. You're still young yet...we live, we learn.

I loved this "i was born sometime in september; 223 days from today,
but i wasnt born for him."-- Deep!

NBB said...

Lovely post as usual. leggy i always wonder where u get these fav fb posts. sometimes i get to post them too. hope there is not copyright, lol. Rumors can ruin relationships.

BBB said...

oh leggy
this is fav facebook status from you,
writing it down now

take things easy
i acn see that even as a young girl u might be immature but theres strength just waiting to pop out

blogoratti said...

Like Tisha rightly said....don't sweat the small stuff.
You'll do just fine.

Sumptuous said...

I love the fb status. I like the poem but it gives out cold vibes. On a totally unrelated note, i just graded a kid's note in my class and he scored 8.5, this made me tink of u and smile.

2cute4u said...

hi, I don't know how to contact you, but Itruly need to pass a message across to you since I know you're creative and gifted enough.. I need you imput. you can reach me by my email add-
thank you ever so much.
I'm sorry to bug you but I have a concept which i would really explain
on my monday post titled,' save our soul'.Most times I've often wondered why we Nigerians
complain and proffer no explanations or solutions to the problems that
herald us. In whatever small way I can, I try to solve a problem or
even make an effort.
What exactly is my point?
It was the effort of wyclef jean that made other stars come together
to give towards Haiti.. I noticed some Naija bloggers even gave
towards Haiti while at the same time decrying what happened in Jos,
VERBALLY while saying God should help Nigeria..
Please everyone should wake up for Nigeria.. Lets give towards those
who have lost everything in Jos.. It was really devastating. student,
working class,everyone, we can do something..We can enlist the
connections we have and also get across to Nigerian
actors,actresses,models,musicians,I'm not saying they
shouldn't use their money as they please, but come on.. A little
thought for those ravaged with violence and bloodshed..
I'd be dedicating my post on today to this and subsequent issues.
If you agree with me, help me plan this thing anyway whatsoever
available..If they can't help them, Let us, that way, people would
help them and extend to Nigeria as a whole.
Share my views with others and do reply if you are with me...thank you.

StandTall-The Activist said...

I must say I admire your courage in stating your opinions clearly on the controversial homosexuality post...

babor james said...

you write beautifully.....Nyc 1

Lolia said...

Someone posted that quote on Twitter.. I think it was Jaycee and I was like talk about being inspired.

Something about this post reminds me of me.. It's very odd.. But I like it :)

Lolia said...

Meanwhile you have a formspring? I think people who have formsprings are very brave. I was going to make one but I wasn't sure anyone would want to ask me anything! Lol