Monday, July 2, 2012

anything else you want me to change?



it's funny, i'm about to turn 21 in a couple of months and i have 15 hours to graduate from my two majors and minors. everyone and their fathers have started giving me relationship advice on how to 'get this man that i'm going to marry'. it's weird. apparently 21 is the magic number. every guy you're seen with is suddenly a 'potential', even though said guy is just your friend who is practically engaged. they don't care. are you walking with him? yes? then he's a potential.
it's funny really when people give me such ridiculous advice about marriage.
people make me laugh with their silly views and ideas of marriage cos i really think your advice and what you think you know is irrelevant. especially people who think because they're married they have all the answers. all 'you need to cook' and do this and do that, i'm always like 'but girl, i'm not marrying your husband, just because you're married doesn't mean you know what MY husband will like'.
i'm not saying don't listen to advice but don't come at me with your silly unsolicited advices, if i don't ask for it, please keep it to yourself. my parents, family friends and relatives have been married for so long, and have relationships that i've been around and love, if i wanted marriage advice i think i'd ask people who i actually respect their advice and have seen them interact with each other.

considering how much pressure people have placed on me to just get in a relationship. 'try it out', they all say, 'you never know till you actually get into one'. i don't know. i'm not going to get into a subpar relationship cos people want me to JUST GET INTO ONE ALREADY!! fact is, if you feel the person is not right for you now, he will not magically change once you get into a relationship. he is still that same person. considering that men are usually on their best behaviour when they are asking you out, he's probably just going to get worse when you just get into that relationship just to be in a relationship. cooking is such a sore spot for me. fact is, i loveee cooking. it's just not my selling point. men who consider that my selling point are really getting taken off the potential list. if cooking is really what you're using to weed out girls, i don't want to date you. seriously, we're on a first date and you're already saying 'i hope you can cook', just know that from that point i'm just there for the free food. if cooking is what is going to make me pass this test that means that there are billions of women out there who are exactly what you're looking for, how about you move on to them?
i once asked a guy: 'have you ever said:"because she can cook, she is a good person?"' and the dude said 'yes' and i told him 'you must have such terrible people in your lives'.

it's funny how much people want you to change in order to be married. bitch please, i'm not even 21. i'm not in a hurry and then you're hit with 'why don't you say that to me 5 years from now?'. sigh.
'oh change the way you dress', 'oh learn how to cook', 'oh you need to clean after him too', 'don't be too argumentative', 'you intimidate men', 'can you stop with the feminist crap?'. why don't you write me a whole list while you're at it and let me completely change who i am.
i am not going to change who i am so that some guy will like me. i can't be unhappy and lose myself because i'm trying to attract some man. seriously, how about changing things about yourself that YOU want to change? concentrate and make yourself a better woman. become who you would want to marry if the roles were reversed. stop trying to fit yourself into the stereotypical:'what a man wants' envelope. you have not spoken to all men. 'oh, she's been married for 10 years, she knows what she's talking about'. who gives a fuck?! she's talking about what HER husband likes. be who you would want to marry if the roles were reversed. you want a woman who can cook? dude, pick up a pot and be able to make yourself a meal. you want a man who earns a lot of money? earn a lot of money, girl.

you know girls who are all 'oooh, i don't mind if he takes me to mama put on our first day, it's all about his heart and all about love'. HA HA HA, if that's what you want, more power to you. but ladies, if you're saying craps like these on twitter because you think it makes you sound modest? uhhh, yeah. please put out what you want out there, stop using your mouth to bring ridiculousness into your life. be open about what you want. don't let these men that won't marry you tell you what you should be doing or saying to get a man. 

sigh, this is just a long rant. i'm just tired. i just had the most bizarre argument ever and i just thought i should vent cos i'm so mad right now. i get enough stupidity from the male folks, i shouldn't be getting it from girls too. seriously. sorry for the rant or any errors, just can't be bothered to read through.

love, 
leggy

4 comments:

blogoratti said...

Breathe*
And hang in there.

TecknicoleurGrl said...

Hahahahaha! Someone's angry. Live your life, jor. Marriage/being in a relationship isn't everything, and when you do find whoever, he's going to like you for you. Everybody can put their opinions in their pockets. But yeah, just chill.

Rae said...

So true about 21 being the magic number! Seriously, because I'm seeing someone now doesn't mean I want to marry them tomorrow. It gets irritating when people who are barely involved in your life feel they know better than you what you should and shouldn't do, and who is acceptable for you to see. But you know what's best for you. So do that.

Tisha Smith said...

sweetie
enjoy yourself
pick a man you won't mind spending
the rest of your life with 10 years from now
when you are 40 or 60 or 80...kisses!