Monday, March 18, 2013

I need answers!!

Will you change your last name to your husband's last name when/if you get married? if so, why?
if your reason for changing it is because you hate your current last name and can't wait to change it once you get married, why aren't you changing it now? you know you can change your name anytime you want? so, if your reason is this, answer this question for me too.
please comment and let me know. i really want to know.

thanks.

love,
leggy.

7 comments:

Sugabelly said...

Absolutely not! This is such a disgusting practice. The same men that want you to change your name for them would NEVER change their names for you, effectively saying that their name is more important than you.

Not only did name changing come from a primitive European culture where the name change signified the woman was now the property of her husband (as opposed to having previously been the property of her father), changing your name after marriage is NOT and has NEVER been part of ANY Nigerian culture and only serves to keep Nigerian women firmly pressed under the thumb of a ridiculously patriarchal post colonial society.

So seriously, if a woman who hates her name and hasn't changed it yet you really need to reevaluate some things.

Marriage is not an opportunity to change your name. Unless you like being property.

Unknown said...

I'd change my name. It may not be our culture (which I didn't know) but it's a common practice I am not opposed to. It's not a big deal to me.

re: someone who doesn't like their name. What if they don't like their name and are not opposed to changing to their husband;s name. Why do the name change twice? I would think it is easier to wait to get married and change. It's a lot of hassle to change name in yankee with all documents and social security and all that.

tophumy said...

No.

I do want to change my last name not because I don't like it but I have another variant I prefer better. But I'm fine with my current last name.

Like unknown said there's way too much hassle involved in changing your last name.

Beautiful said...

This is an issue i've considered thoroughly as I get closer to becoming a wife.

Yes I would change my last name because I'm not opposed to it nor do I see anything wrong with it.

However, I have not decided if I want to make it a compound surname or make my present surname into my middle name.

I also would not want my kids to have a different surname from me as it would be all complicated without a name change. Do we split the children in half? half would have his name while the remaining have mine since we jointly gave birth to them?

It does show "oneness", "inseparability" in MY opinion, though this is not a determining factor in the outcome of any marriage. I don't mind who does the name change, man taking the woman, woman taking the man whichever as long as they both bear the same surname. The two become one.

But, a man taking on the woman's name is seen as a strange thing even in a more civilized place like Florida judging by this article I read earlier this year http://www.reuters.com/article/2013/01/28/us-florida-driving-license-idUSBRE90R15320130128. In Nigeria though, I know a few guys who have combined their wife's last name and their's into a compound name and both the man and woman bear the new compound name.

Finally, I have always wondered what happens to a divorced woman though. Does she go back to her maiden name or maintain the guy's name. From the movie I watched featuring Frank Edoho's ex wife, her last name was still Edoho. I think that's awkward seeing as Frank has remarried and has a current Mrs Edoho. My sis-in-law to be is also seperated (not divorced) and I still don't know how to address the wedding invitations as she has not changed her facebook name to her maiden surname. My friend (who got married at 18!!!) and is divorced now (at 25!!!) has changed her facebook name back to her maiden name. *sigh* its all one complicated issue.

Sorry for the long comment but you asked! :D :)

doll (retired blogger) said...

yes, already did, cuz i like the sound of my new last name, cuz i kinda like rhymed name for clarity and for the kids.


Either ways do you

Lol @ Sugabelly

Lohi said...

When I get married I am making my last name Lohi Og - _____ By the grace of God, I am working really hard right now to make something of my name and I do not want to change it later and all the legacy goes to my husbands surname. I want my father's name to be part of my legacy. The kids will also bear Og - ____. Different strokes for different folks.

Myne Whitman said...

Different strokes, and to each their own. I changed my name more for official purposes than anything. I debated making my maiden surname my middle name but my middle name comes with a story I cherish so I kept it. No compound names for me, maybe the children. We'll cross that bridge...