Monday, July 5, 2010

a child's imaginative lies



i was talking to a friend of mine yesterday and he reminded me of when i told everyone in my set that my family and i lived in a tree and that we could only afford the school fees for a private school because we cleaned our white proprietress' house. i said it so many times that people actually believed me and treated me with such pity and i always got my way until someone saw the house that i lived in.
that made me laugh at how gullible a bunch of 9, 10,12 year olds could be and how gullible people are in general even though we'd all like to think that we can spot a very stupid, unnecessay lie.

i remember in my primary 5, a guy who was in ss1 asked me out.i was 10.i told him i was 15.

in my jss1, i told my introtech teacher that i didnt submit my homework because my mum was terminally ill and was admitted to the hospital.

in ss1, i told my physics teacher that my dog ate my homework.we didnt even have a dog.

in my jss3, i gave my literature teacher a carton of soap and vegetable oil that some random company gave my dad as a gift without my parents' permission so that she'd like me and the stupid woman came to thank my mum when she came to pick me up and my mum who obviously had no idea what the woman was thanking her for played along.i got my ass kicked that night.

i told my dad that the gay romance book i was reading was for a research about the gay community.i was in jss2, who the heck is going to ask a jss2 girl to write a paper on the gay community?!

i used to tell my mum that i had to stay late in school and that i'd follow my best friend home and my best friend would tell her folks the same thing just so that we could bike home.we loved biking home.i mean seriously, the wind on your face is awesome.

everytime a guy asks me out, i always go the 'its not you, its me' route. im always like 'i cant date someone now, i just cant but i really like you' but what im actually saying is 'get a clue, i stopped liking you a month ago and you knew from the first day that i met you that i dont want a boyfriend what made you think you'd change my mind?!'.

my friend paul in my primary one was always insulting me so i told him that my mum is a doctor and that shes a very mean and wicked person and she said that she'd come to his house at night and cut off his lips.needless to say, i got into a lotttttttt of trouble when his parents found out that the reason why their son wasnt sleeping was because i threatened him.

for some reason when i was little, i used to think i was a witch so i used to threaten my sisters and i used to say that i'd suck their blood- i really dont know where that came from but if you had three older sisters like i do, you'd make up something to save your ass from getting kicked.needless to say, they beat the witchcraft out of me.

i once licked a plate clean after eating with it and told my mum that i washed it and she used it to put food for a guest who came to our house that sunday.i felt so bad, my sisters sha thought it was HIGH-larious when i told them.i guess by now you can tell that we didnt like this particular guest.he came every sunday during lunch time to see 'my dad'.yeah right.

my househelp one time couldnt read and this guy wrote her a love letter and she made me read it to her and write a reply to the guy. i didnt like her plus she always made sure i ate my vegetables or she'd tell my mum so i wrote that she was pregnant and in need of a man who can handle the responsiblities of being a father.ofcourse, the guy avoided her like a plague after that.i think she always suspected me cos she treated me so bad after that.

i told my friends in primary school that my dad is a police man.i dont know why i did that, i just felt like saying that he is an engineer was going to be boring.so i said police man.

i once told my friends that we didnt have electricity and that the phone they used to call me was my neighbours' and we watched movies and tv through their window.i dont know why i said that.i just thought it'd be funny.

i loved making up stories when i was little and the most ridiculous thing is that when i actually needed to lie, i'd always tell the truth, like whenever something happened at home, my mum would always ask me cos she always knew i'd tell her the truth.i always had a very ridiculous imaginative mind growing up, i could come up with such colourful stories and convince YOU that it's reality. now, i lead a very boring life.now, i never lie.lies always have a way of catching up with you,so i just never do it.i'd rather not tell you something than lie to you.

okay, this is the part where you tell me a really funny white lie you've told to someone or made someone tell.i'd really love to hear them.

favourite facebook quote:" I have learned in whatever state I am, to be content -Philippians 4:12"

hope you had a fun 4th of july-i got sick but it still turned out great. i was watching episodes of bones and i'm living alone this summer so i got a little paranoid and scared so i spent half the night with my friends.
so today, im grateful that i have friends who don't think its ridiculous that i got a little scared.
have a great week.

20 comments:

omobolanle said...

wow, someone was a pathological liar

Mwajim Al said...

lol mehn seems like u were a character when u were little... u prolly still are... yah so a bones marathon tends to make one paranoid... bin there!

shorty said...

LOL. As Mwajim said you were really a character.

I once lied my mum was sick because i couldn't submit my assignment too.

Azazel said...

Lol even in adulthood u are still a LIAR!!!..
Lol jk, thanks for voting for me.

beautiful said...

lol...you should be spanked!

i told my classmates in primary 5 dat my house had an underground and most of the things in it were pure gold and u had to use an escalator to get dere! lol...no one obviously knew d meaning of escalator cos dey believed me and were all oohing and aaahing and asking for gold and kept begging me to describe d escalator which i said was pink and gold.
i still wonder y i said dat!

histreasure said...

lmho...u know, some of those people prolly knew u lied and just didn't want to bother..***shakes head** the things children do..

Tisha said...

I remember lying that i was a sickler in secondary school.
Funny thing is there was this chic that said lying ran in her family.

Okay i remember in primary 2 i told my teacher that in my family we did not wear pant; this was because i did not wear pant to school on that day. (The reason why escapes me).
lol

Miss Natural said...

leggy this was serious wow lol...it was funny sha. TG you've stopped now abi? Aww its not ridiculous to be scared, I cudnt do anything alone even in the day time until I got to Uni and started lovig my own company. white lies. hmm if i remember I shall post again.

Emosh said...

I told a guy I couldn't call him back because "Nepa took light" and he believed
What an idiot.
Nice post.

Original Mgbeke said...

LMAO, this post really cracked me up. Took me back to the days when we would concoct all kinds of 'fabo'. Hilarious!

Myne Whitman said...

I was laughing all through, what of the one below,

for some reason when i was little, i used to think i was a witch so i used to threaten my sisters and i used to say that i'd suck their blood- i really dont know where that came from but if you had three older sisters like i do, you'd make up something to save your ass from getting kicked.needless to say, they beat the witchcraft out of me.

2cute4u said...

You're such a case!
You're crazy!
I kept laughing all through; you have this dry sense of humour and that is what I admire along with your unique way in writing.

Nutty J. said...

Lol...couldnt stop laughing...

I can imagine the poor people who took ur words for it...hahaha...hillarious

Fragilelooks said...

lmsao. leggy u r so very funny. and u got same template as i do.A gurl in my school once told us of how they went to mars. liar liar pants on fire.

Inemesit said...

Hmm

SHE said...

Some girl in my school cooked up a story on how kidnappers were after everyone in her family. Many people believed her.

Now that I think about it, I just cant stop laughing.

Xoxorobia said...

the best lie I ever told, "it wasn't me!" and I still tell it! Ask all my exes

Me said...

lol... i always told toasters (well, the undesired ones) "My phone isn't working right now" or better yet "My phone was stolen yesterday and I'm very likely going to get a different number"

kooldude4reva said...

I loved this :) (not a lie, it may be though jk) lol. As you said the 'gullibleness' of people lol

Vanity said...

Favorite post handdown! It made me laugh. I am bookmarking this so I can come back on baddays.

http://somepeoplehaverealproblems-vain.blogspot.com