Sunday, December 27, 2009

christmas fling


- we cannot be on first name basis. you can call me any other thing you feel like but just not my name, that breeds some kinda insane familiarity that i really dont want to have with you.

- we go out when and if i want to. you make the calls ofcourse but i get to say 'yes' or 'no'.

- you only talk to me if i acknowledge you, if i go out and see you and decide to pretend like ive never seen you in my life before then you better go along with it.

- i dont care if you have a girlfriend...dont just tell me you have one even if you do.

- dont get emotional with me..cos seriously, this is just plain fun for me and i dont want any attachments after this.

- dont ever call me..you can only text me to tell me where and when to meet you and thats it. this is no relationship..its a fling.

- this is called a fling..so when i feel like ive been flung hard enough...then you can scooch.

- no stolen kisses...thats just for lovers.

- no christmas gifts, boxing day gifts...im not spending a dime on you and i'd really appreciate it if you didnt make me feel guilty by spending some on me.

- restaurants are not really a place to have a fling..i mean...that encourages conversation and that breeds familiartiy...a club..now thats a good place i can get 'flung' at.

- i don't want to meet your friends and you are definitely never going to meet mine.

- dont ask me to go to church with you..i already feel guilty already, im not going to the house of God and flaunting it there.

- if you think taking me to church and talking sweetly about your mum will make me think of what a sweet boy you are, forget it..ive met sweeter people.

- this rendezvous will be that part of my life i'd look back on and think..'ooh,that ended well'.

- when i leave...it ends on that day. i dont want to see your number on my phone..no calls..no messages...no nothing.

- if i meet you somewhere else..we behave like new acquaintances.

now, if you can just take the pen and sign the damn contract then we can be on our way to a very memorable christmas fling.

p.s: if there is any breach whatsoever in our contract...i get to humiliate you..you really dont want to be subjected to my kind of humiliation.

no, im not getting flung..just wondering what it will be like to give myself a little gift for being so good this year, since father christmas doesnt seem to be doing his job properly.lol.kidding oh!!!

merry christmas folks.

on a whole other matter, nigerians need to get off cnn and change the channel and stop acting all guilty..im tired of talking to friends and they start telling me about the nigerian bomber...bitch, i have something better to discuss with you. the guy's father warned the US embassy and they ignored him...they ignored a whole former ist bank chairman.seriously?
now that this shit has happened..they now have a whole bunch of crap to say and nigerians are buying into it..seriously.nigerians need to learn to stop caring about things like this...the boy didnt even go to school in nigeria..he wasnt even living there, the bastard sneaked into nigeria just to use his passport... and nigerians are acting all guilty. abeg, noone else should call my phone asking if ive heard about the bomber...im seriously going to curse the next fool that'd do that.

25 comments:

iphyigbogurl said...

Chineke!!!!
I am first on leggy's blog????
surely...the end times are near....

off to read...
lol

iphyigbogurl said...

lol..i love flings!!!
never really had one tho... :(
one day...one day!!

lol...the bomber story thing is getting a bit too much sha...

i dont need anyone to tell me agin anymore.....

i have beter things to worry about...

like how to insert a freaking tampon in my vajayjay.....lol

Harry-Rami Itie said...

Nice one

Fierce said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
miss.fab said...

Lol funny funny... what about your own part of the contract now ahahn! You should make a boyfriend contract too. You know, just incase. Lok

PS whatever happened to 8.5? Idk if I missed a round-up post about him, but I haven't seen his name on here in a while I think. Hmmm...

Fierce said...

I love the concept of flings, they sound like absolute fun... never been in one though ;)
the whole bomber deal is pissing me off too... I mean seriously, did nobody else notice that the dumbass wasn't even claiming Naija status... stupid mo-fo was busy claiming al-qaeda which is all well and good except even they don't want him... I think news reports should read "a confused moron (who incidentaly is rich enough to NOT understand the problem's faced by normal people) tried to bomb a plane (probaby because he is retarded for using the guise of 'defending' his religion)"... leave his nationality out, he's obviously confused on that count himself *smh*
:)
xoxo

bonnie said...

lol soo um did u find someone to sign the contract? lol.
and kepele i hope u got nomore calls.lol. yea it was rather overboard..it even became trending topic on twitter.

Ms. 'dufa said...

I hate flings.

About the bomber guy, its so annoying the way he's become an overnight celebrity and everyone's talking about him. Its just unfortunate he had to be a nigerian anyway

Tia said...

Just like any other news these days, naija bomber news is overdone!
Anyway, hhhmm flings are so complicated. Never really liked them.

Tia said...

Just like any other news these days, naija bomber news is overdone!
Anyway, hhhmm flings are so complicated. Never really liked them.

muyiwa said...

flings,flings,flings,i think CNN and BBC should start another topic and headline

Fragilelooks said...

Omo dis contract na wa oh. I cldnt help but laf. @cnn.. Seriously, its starting to disgust me. Hope u r enjoying ur xmas.

David.фаворит Бога номер-один said...

sometimes, i wonder...
hope you are good?

P'sy-A-wana said...

i feel you on the bomber issue people are acting foolish

shorty said...

Lol,very funny,this your contract nawa o!

Honestly i'm fed up with all this bomber thing,its very unfortunate he is a Nigerian.

My World said...

Hmmmm,the real concept of flings.....Love the picture!

Myne Whitman said...

Who is fooling who? One night stands are overrated.

Merry Christmas girl. I'm reminded I owe you the button. Check your email.

Azazel said...

Lol leggy I love this..
Makes total sense..
Nice

sweetness said...

i really needed to read that last past
it made sense
Whatever his interests were, it was definately not for his religion
there was something wrong with him
how was xmas dear
xx

2cute4u said...

leggy, wanted to ask.. did you get to hear about that naija bomber?(lol....curse me remain!)Nice dropping you did there.. Well you know with flings, a party is bond to cross boundary and yeah damn the consequences.Happy holidays!
FREE ANSWERS TO YOUR QUESTIONS
www.askchacha4free.blogspot.com

sunnyside said...

I love the idea of having a fling. I mean it cld be fun,. But that will only happen in my fantasy world. Lol.

The Girl with the Red Hair said...

This your contract is so comprehensive.

I am tired of hearing that dude's gist.There is nothing else on the local stations too.

N.I.M.M.O said...

The problem with flings is that someone is going to breach the contract by falling in love or something.

..Moyo said...

Ahh fling.
I totally get what you're saying but thing is, no matter how hard you try, you're going to fall. Well not you exactly, it could be the other person involved.
But because you two kiss eachother. Boy, do you know what a kiss can do? Funny how one small link can make you feel every lust-y feeling in the world.
But overall, it's easier said than done - or am I just talking Romantic movie?

Barefeet said...

EWOOO ....im married but girl u do redefine fling...nice one...if only all females were like u ..we'd get over heartbreaks with the click of a finger...hope ure not frontin sha...as in is this really ur personality..?