Sunday, December 6, 2009

a letter to the future


dear leggy-in-the-future,

im writing this with the hope that the world really didnt end in 2012 and that that day came and went without any hitches, so if this letter gets to you in good health in the year 2013 then i thank God for that.
so 21 huh? i hope you grew into a lovely young woman with a good head on your shoulders, hope you found a good job and maybe a boyfriend?no? did you suddenly discover that you are gay?gosh!i hope not, cos the time i spent ogling the boys in my maths class hopefully didnt go in vain.
or maybe boys are no longer needed, maybe robots are now the thing in vogue, ads on ebay and bids going on at the malls for them? 2 for $4.99? that cheap? or can only the rich afford it?be careful oh, there was a movie in my time that was acted about those things, they are planning to take over the world so be careful.

so i bet you are wondering why you have no assets, no breasts, no ass.sigh.
i wondered the same thing too and i always prayed that i was going to sleep and wake up oneday and discover that i suddenly grew one but since that obviously didnt happen in 2013 either, i guess you can just forget about it too.sigh.unless ofcourse they have one of those 'grow it yourself' chemicals there, i mean they dont have any now and there are so many side effects to today's drugs that you cant really trust anything.

how are all those stds? yeah, they were a real monster in my day, i bet aids is now like some sort of cough to you people and when you'd get it you'd just write a status on facebook saying that you've got AIDS and everyone will say sorry and you'd go to the pharmacy down the road and buy a drug without any prescription and the next day you are negative again...sigh.that'd be so cool, and do you guys still have facebook or has something cooler taken over...i knew it was bound to happen.sigh.

and please dont date any guy whose name starts with the first five letters, i think they are nothing but trouble but that doesnt mean that if a handsome rich man knocks on your door with those letters you shouldnt open up , i mean ive thought you better, you should be able to know all the exceptions to my rule.

are you married? i'd be suprised if you are cos marriage isnt something i am interested in indulging in, so if you are you changed your mind?huh?hmm...i hope this dude is really worth it cos all these cheating ass men in my days just make me wanna puke.
ohhh, so there is now a law against cheating huh?ahhhh, 45 years in jail eh?wow, that'd be so cool if that is really true in your day.

any kids? thats really the only advantage i see in that institution called marriage?
how is mummy and daddy in your day? daddy still loud and crazy? age didnt mellow that old man out?seriously?wow, i wonder how he keeps up with all his thoughts. he is still acting like the perfect husband and father huh? you guys havent caught him cheating yet eh? maybe ill like him a little, i mean if you do catch him cheating, i really recommend blackmail cos mummy and me and all my sisters in this day think he is one in a million, so if you do catch him cheating get some money from him.

gone to france yet?no?wow, you are still a loser?what a surprise!!NOT!!still hiding under mummy's pants?
i sure hope you are atleast rich cos if you are not i'd better start praying for the world to end oh, cos ive always prided on the fact that im going to live the good life!

hooked up with love yet?damn word still used as a generic there? have they added any more body parts to that word yet?
i mean in my day, it had eyes cos according to them it is blind, it had wings cos according to them it could fly away at any time, it even has legs sef cos sometimes it doesnt have the time to fly the thing just kuku run away.it even has a heart cos according to them love feels. so have they discovered that it has a head yet?maybe a penis?you know i wont be surprised if love is male, ive always had this feeling about it.

i really have so much to say but im afraid ive gotta go study for my finals..i mean if i dont read those books you wont get to make any money. ill catch up with you later, ofcourse thats if the earth doesnt end in 2012.

p.s: i was so bored at work today so i wrote this.crappy i know!!sigh,what more can i say?

p.p.s: goodluck on your finals, mine end on thursday and then its off to dallas!!!

30 comments:

CerebrallyBusy said...

lol, i loved this!

fooooooorrrsttttt

Rene said...

LMAO!!! u're something else

Tricia said...

Hi Leggy!
I hope the world wont end in 2012! I also wish by that time they would have made alternatives for men and they should go to jail for cheating. And i'm guessing there wont b Fb.
I loved this. I'l probably do one.
Here is to 2012.

FASCHE said...

How interesting!

I found the aids-becoming-a-flu-kinda-ilness really practical! Hope something worse doesn't take over!

SkinnyLegs said...

Don tell me this 2012 madness has spread to blogville?!
And there are alreadY replacements for men..they're called dildos and vibrators..lol

this was hilarious

Myne Whitman said...

Seconded to Skinnylegs for Dildo's and vibs LOL.

Loved the post! I had to write a letter to myself 6months in the future as part of a training but it was hard for me. This is really, like the points you came up with.

And get ready to write your story after David.

Nita said...

Lol! Hilarious *Only advantage in that institution* ahahaaa!!!

Azazel said...

Damn ur talented no be small. Goodluck on ur finals

Sugarking said...

Sheezus!!! this is like the fourth genius post i've read tonight! wetin all of una smoke??!!! Azazels blew me off, then Sir Scribbles', Then L-VII's, now this!!!this is straight wicked mehn! 2 gbaski!!!

chayoma said...

You know i won't be surprised if Love is male,i've always had this feeling about it.
Too funny.

Definitely by 2013 we all would be rocking some fake tits and fake azz ( Okay maybe i shld make a mental note about the azz part seeing as some model chick died from complications from butt implants...well then again, by 2013 technology would be PURRfect, no side effects)

Hilarious.
Can't wait 4 ur segment on Myne's!

Gee said...

wow i see u r really thinking of this 2012 thingy o...
LOL, i am sure uld be fine.LOL
did anyone tell u u specialize in writing Long posts??

muyiwa said...

lol,why are u still afraid of 2012,and i think they are doing butt expansion now

Nice Anon said...

2012 is like the Y2K craze. It will come and go and NOTHING will happen.

shorty said...

Hilarious i love it!
Ican see you really scared of this 2012,the world wont end then my dear,you'll finish school and make monry sef.

Parakeet said...

You may think this post is crappy but it actually made me think...and laff of cos.

The AIDs bit may just be true.

shorty said...

Leggy your blog doesnt appear on my blog roll o.

BBB said...

nice post leggy
good job,
am sure 2013 you would be really cool

Fragilelooks said...

this is real funny leggy. pls 4get all the rumour abt 2012 jare. we will all be there and it'll blow away like yesterday.

we mite still be blogging by 2013.lol

David.фаворит Бога номер-один said...

LMAO!!!
i enjoyed this...
and leggy, you really are something else!
MEN ON SALE...that would be nice
it would kill ego
and does that mean that i'm
trouble?
my name does start with a "D"
you know...lol

Beauty Goodone said...

Leggy, good job. Just a reverse of the book I'm reading at the moment 'what I know now:letters to my younger self'.

what do you mean by 'pls don't date any guy whose name starts with the first five letters?(laughs).Very funny gurl

exschoolnerd said...

i love love love ur blog...to be honest this is the first time i sat down to read it... u remind me of me when i started blogging...

and i really loved this post..infact it inspired the article am writing for a mag..thanks dear..

My World said...

this is no crappy post girl......I Love it!!!
Good luck with finals!

S[he] says... said...

Who's "the amalgamation of me+moi"? Whoever it is, you just made my morning when I found a link to leggy's new/old blogspot. I was going straight out of my mind craving for leggy's posts. Now I can get my daily fix. Leggy, you rock!! XXOXOXO

Tay-mee said...

Hahaha..Leggy!! I loved this post.

Don't be sacred of the 2012 thing tho..the world can't even end sef..my degree will now become irrelevant?? God forbid!

sunnyside said...

That was one heck of a letter..
I ll go with u on the aids part.

~B~ said...

loool, u're too cute!

I agree with Nice Anon, d 2012 ish is jst lyk d Y2K madness...

nd I'm thinkin if robots r d in thin, they wuldnt b too picky bout boobs nd ass, no?

histreasure said...

great post, beautifully put together..no mind dem jare, na so dem de craze for malaria before, now nko?..lol

all the best in ur finals

Miss Natural said...

leggy damn! to think you wanted to close this blog, kai nawa for you lmaooo. dont worry, hi five, i used to pray i'd wake up with boobs and ass lol. ps im sure you're not gay lol...lol and this wasnt a crappy note, it was a good read!

Ms. 'dufa said...

:) I enjoyed this

Olutimehin said...

I wish I thought of it first! Lol...this is an amazing blog. You're really good!