Tuesday, January 26, 2010
just so you know
to the babies that i am going to give birth to some time in the future by God's grace.
lets start with the holidays.
- christmas - no, there is no white man running around nigeria giving gifts on christmas day...no, i will not lie and tell you that there is one either.if you are lucky and im in such good mood and for a reason that im still trying to figure out i decide to buy you guys gifts for christmas..you will know quite alright that mummy spent her hard earned money to buy you those gifts.
if for any reason which i still havent figured out, i end up raising a family in this country..then it is your duty to go around bursting your classmates' bubbles and telling them the truth about santa claus.
no, he doesnt exist.no, you do not have a chimney so how exactly did santa claus come on christmas day...no your parents ate the cookies and glass of milk...and yes, go and thank your parents for the gifts and stop yelling about how santa claus got you just what you wanted.
- curfew: my curfew was 6pm in the evening and this post is being written cos hopefully, i get to raise my kids in nigeria. your butt should be home before six and you only get to go out on weekends and when i say weekends you should know that i only mean on saturday. no, i am not being strict..i just want you to learn how to sit your butt at home and not be jumping from one house to another like your own father's house is pursuing you.
-easter: easter is the time in which we celebrate the fact that Jesus died for our sins.no, we will not be doing any egg hunts.egg hunts?EGG HUNTS? you better not touch my eggs..you will jejely eat my fried rice and chicken, go to church and go to sleep. and no there is not easter bunny...you see rabbits all the time..do they look like they are designed to serve as an easter father christmas?didnt think so too.
- tooth fairy: you will not be finding money under your pillows, so yeah, do not litter my house with those milk teeth. no fairy is coming to our house cos first of all, all the windows as you know are going to be closed and im sitting here in front of my laptop trying to figure out how exactly that woman is going to come into my house. if for any reason she manages to get into the house..the house alarm is def going off and the police is so coming to get her ass!
im thinking that whoever started the story of a tooth fairy is possibly a huge pediphile...what the hell are you doing in a little kid's room in the night and then proceed to give them money for what exactly?
you are grounded!- what the heck are you getting grounded for? my dear you are getting some good old fashioned beating. i didnt kill my mother and you are so not going to kill me. i dont want you to end up being one of those disturbed individuals that show up on dr. phil to air their dirty linens in public. no sire.
i first give you the eye first= you ignore me
i shout at you= you mouth off at me
then you are so going to get your ass beaten. and ofcourse your dad is so going to hear about it!!
grades: this is one that we are so going to discuss when i see you in a couple of years...start preparing and reading now cos you are seriously going to be smart....you will need it.
- just finished my chE homework and decided to write a post cos im going to be really busy and i might not have the time to write a post any time soon.
- so these are some of the things im so not going to let my kids believe in or do...tell me one thing-you have to tell me just one thing, so choose well-that you cant let your kids ever do under your watch.
best fb status: a breakup is like a broken mirror, its better to leave it broken than to get hurt trying to fix it.
2.) After Monday(M) and Tuesday(T), even the week asks WTF?
have a great week ahead...i do wish you a fruitful week.
study hard and work hard oh...we need those grades to start making that money soon(he he he, sweetness).:-)dont diet.