Friday, January 22, 2010
sometimes i feel like im a huge walking contradiction.
my heart says yes but my head says no.
i think 'i want to do this', people think..'you really shouldnt do this'.
most of the time;
i want to cry outloud in public
i want to laugh and fall on the person next to me
i want to remind him that what we had was a long time ago and i dont like him like that again.
sometimes, i'd like to hit her head on the wall cos i simply think it will be satisfying
i want to say what i really think.
i'd like to hide under my sheets and never leave the house
i want to scream that 'im not jealous, im really happy for you'
you dont have to remind me that he has a bad reputation i liked him just the way he is.
i want to tell them to stop talking about 'us'
i want to tell them that what i do with my life is noone's business but mine.
i want to shout that ive done nothing but kiss him
but why bother?they wont believe me anyway.
i dont want to have to choose between him and the crowd
but i hate getting talked about so i'd probably not choose him
i'd like to be such a bitch to certain people but i smile and act nice.
i'd like to tell him to focus on his girlfriend and let me live my life
...but i cant do that cos everyone would interprete it as me being jealous.
i want to tell him that everything i used to have with him turned out to be such a mistake.
i want to speak igbo again and be proud of it
i want to be able to cry to my mum about the bad things in my life
i'd like to be able to curse and like it.
i'd like to pretend that im not a prude...cos im not.
i'd like to walk out of my house in the morning and be happy that i woke up
i'd like to be able to dance the way i feel like at a party.
i'd like to walk around and not feel eyes following my every step.
i think i have to bitch slap this fool..but i sit there and take it
i think i should set them straight...but why bother?
i think you are really making me angry..but i suck it up and smile.
i think i really need someone to talk to about this..but my friends are miles away..so i cry deep into my pillow.
i dont want to feel so heartless but sometimes i know i am
i think id really want to ask him about this but i dont..cos i cant stand confrontation.
i think i'd really like to say something about this..but i keep quiet cos i cant stand defending myself cos i feel it makes me look guilty.
and at night i cry myself to sleep cos i cant stand the absurdity of my life.
my lips lift into a smile when my heart is breaking
my soul tears apart while i burst into a laugh
my legs lift off from the ground one step at a time when all i want to do is lie in bed and hide.
my body is a walking contradiction.
my name is leggy.
my soul dwells in a body that wont listen to it.
hey folks, im sorry if this didnt make sense, im just in a very bad place right now...so all over blogville you must have heard that nice anon is leaving and i was supposed to write a happy post today but reading her post made me sad and i ended up writing this.
sometimes i feel like im being controlled by something i cant see or someone...its just weird.
so i was watching grey's anatomy yesterday and this argument came up with some of my friends...so basically would you choose someone you love(not a husband just a boyfriend you supposedly really love) over something you love or the other way round?
i said i would choose something i love over someone i love.
and i wanted to know what you guys think,
something you love(something like a career or talent, stuff like that) or someone you love(someone who is a boyfriend that you really really love)?
best fb status: "If we can send one man to the moon, why can't we send them all there?"
love moderately and love with your head.have a great weekend ahead.i have loads of work to do but still TGIF. carrots are supposedly good for the soul, try some.