Monday, January 18, 2010

unanswered prayers


our Father who art in heaven
hallowed be Thy name
Thy kingdom come...
..

she lay down on her bed crying ceaselessly, sobbing like her whole world just came crashing down.
she stared at the piles of bills unpaid....he had finally left her..after so many years of his cheating and her prayers..he had finally left her.
she had been a housewife at his insistent..
she could still hear him...'no wife of mine will ever work'...she had been flattered at first at the thought of him not wanting her stressed.but after so many weeks in to this sham of a marriage she now understood that he only wanted to control her...
wear that
wear this
dont talk
the leg kicking under the table
the cold looks promising beatings.


thy will be done
on earth as it is in heaven
give us this day our daily bread
and forgive us our trespasses


their courtship had been a whirlwind
10dates...2 months...marriage....what was she thinking?
she had prayed for a caring mind, God-fearing, hardworking, patient...she had asked....didnt she deserve to be given?
she had married him against her parent's wishes...eloped. she had been so glad that someone had fallen in love with her regardless of her parent's wealth....despite the fact that she stood to inherit a lot of money upon their deaths...an heiress.
marriage.
rachel smiled bitterly as she got out of bed and started dressing up.
marriage.
he had changed as soon as the marriage was formal...the chill in his eyes left her scared...the snappy attitude,the mood swings, the hot and cold attitude.
rachel hurriedly dressed up and started putting on make up...she was a Coker and for the very last time she was going to look like one.

as we forgive those who trespass against us
and lead us not into temptation
but deliver us from evil
for Thine is the kingdom...


she stared at her makeup for a while as tears dropped down onto the dressing table.
she had begged God and prayed for the perfect one.
she had trusted Him to guide her, to be there for her and to let her know the signs.
rachel had been happy with mike...their courtship albeit short had been wonderful...she had believed that he was the one God had sent to her...so despite her parent's protests and her relative's dismay she had married him cos she loved him and because she thought God was on her side.
as she felt her mascara getting ruined on account of her tears...i should have bought a water proof one..she thought..as she started to redo her face all over again. she was going to do this right..she wanted to look her best when she finally met Him, she thought while looking up...or him...while looking down....if any of them even existed.

the power and the glory

the months after her parents died was the best months of her life...he had been the perfect husband..comforting her in the times she'd wake up in the early hours of the morning to cry, cooking for her, he took over paying the bills...and the sex...ooohhh, the sex...
he had convinced her to open a joint account together to show the level of her trust...she should have known, she should have known that something was terribly wrong but she had sincerely thought that he had changed...she had finally decided that God had finally heard her and changed him for the better.
she should have known.
she looked at the mirror at her image. perfect.
rachel turned back at the bills sitting on her desk...wow...the bills had come piling in today, she had thought that mike had taken care of it...but no, he was simply hiding them and bidding his time...the electricity company was threatening to cut off the electricity, no heat, no gas...and she was pennyless.he had completely clean her out...joint bank account my ass she thought as she lifted the knife from the table.

forever and ever...

she had thought about this ever since the bank called...what exactly was she living for?no parents, no children...relatives who hated her husband and have now been justified...she was alone in the whole wide world...as she slowly slit her wrist she smiled painfully...she had heard it was the easiest way to die...

amen.

as the life slowly seeped out of her...a knock at the door...mike walks in holding flowers..he had changed his mind and decided to ask her to forgive him and make their marriage work.the last few months had been the best in his life and he couldnt believe he was going to just throw it away.
as he burst into the room calling her name...he looked at his wife lying on the floor, she looked up, gave him a very small smile....he scooped her up and ran towards the car as life slowly left her.....

i was talking to my friends about how i could never commit suicide..what if i did and something great happens?what if i decide to do it at the point when God finally answered my prayers?apart from all this..i dont even have the guts to commit suicide.
anyway, im starting school tomorrow so i just wanted to write a post just incase i dont get to write another one anytime soon..ill still be stalking you guys on my blogs so no worries.
tell me if you like the story..if you dont im so sorry..lol.
i was wondering is there anything that'd happen to you that will make you commit suicide? i asked my friends and they gave me really scary situations...so tell me if you liked the story or if you didnt and also tell me something that could happen that will make you consider suicide.

i did braids for school yesterday and im looking soo good...and get this: my friends did it for free.i keep telling my friends who pay for their hair that they should get with the program and start bringing nice people around them.lmao.i love rubbing things in.

best facebook status: If Facebook was a subject my parents would be soo proud.. :)

if school starts for you tomorrow, just like me..i wish you a very good semester.
dont stay up late...eat vitamins and sleep atleast 7hours a night.lo.:-))

33 comments:

NKAYTCHEE said...

I think i'm first.....! I don't think i can commit suicide o, life's 2sweet abeg....lol! Bsyds, therz stil a lot 2 liv 4.

Blowing Blessings Your Way said...

That story was really really good!!! I love it! But I def can't see myself committing sucide, no matter how rough things may be...God dey...

Good luck this semester!!! And have a great first day!

F and M said...

I loved the story... It was engaging from start to finish...

This issue has been circling round my flat recently, it's funny you mentioned it. One of my flatmates unsuccessfully attempted to commit suicide. In true immigrant parent fashion (y'all Naija ppl know ur parents) she was shipped back to Hong Kong IMMEDIATELY.

So we were all wondering what could lead someone to the point where our natural instinct to survive is overwhelmed completely. I know I could never do it sha. Call me a chicken but omo I fear hell o! Plus I still havent encountered anything that is worth the ending my life for. But then again, maybe I have been fortunate... People faced with such situations seem to feel like they have no choice...

BBB said...

oh leggy
u outddi urself
that was a well written story
u really should consider writing a novel...
suicide is a sour not
but as long as a problem exist there is nothing too big for me too carry with God by my side
suicide is def a non no

S[he] says... said...

I love the story. Unexpected twists and turns. I used to be suicidal when I was growing up. Yes, rejection can make you want to end your life.

Harry-Rami Itie said...

I love this story..its really nice...altho I am so anti-suicide...

shorty said...

Nice one,i enjoyed it.

I don't think i can commit suicide though i have thought of it before sha.

Enjoy first day in school.

Imoteda said...

School just started for you? Im soo jealous... Im transferring to your school wherever or whatever it is

Imoteda said...

Oh and I love the story by the way... its really really good. I made the first comment before I even read it lol... it was looking kinda long.

But man suicide isn't an easy thing. Ive been close after a traumatic event in my life but at the end of the day you realize that nothing is really ever that bad. You get over most things and take them as lessons. Plus getting your stomach pumped kinda hurts.

beautiful said...

different things can make one wanna commit suicide....like a TERRIBLE heartbreak...me for one,the thought of not getting to eat pizza again won't even make me think of something that outrageous :-)

muyiwa said...

suicide ke,lol at the facebook status

Andrea said...

Leggychukwu.. I love the story. it is beautiful. Nothing can make me commit suicide. Goodluck this semester..

Mwajim Al said...

I really liked it... the flow and structure definitely kept me interested! I kept thinking of the nollywood movie "Guilty pleasures" at the beginning kind of similar with a controlling husband figure... and then when he came in to apologize... change i kept thinking: "ahhh Woman noooo!" You gat me feeling like i was watching a movie here...lol. Good piece.
I don't think anything is worth suicide... not when God has already loved us so much and died in place of us... nothing is this life is so unbearable when we are conquerors!
On a side note, have a great semester!

Barefeet said...

nice enagaging funny ow we both made a post about prayers almost on the same day...nice one will get bk to u regardin the comment u left theres more to it than meets the eye...?!

Tayne said...

I really liked it. Well done.

Nah, I don't think I can commit suicide, back in the day I could but I am older and wise.

Repressed One said...

You write really well.

Nah mehn, i don't think i can commit suicide...it's never gotten that bad and it never will IJN.

Have a great semester!

Azazel said...

Lmao leggy @ the facebook status. I loved this and no I do not know of anything that would make me take my own life lol. Nothing is that serious in my opinion.

Ebony~!* said...

good stuff girl!!! hmm may God be merciful to us in the marriage world...amen!! Girl how are you? longest years!lol

Suru said...

WOW this was well written. School already started from me since last week but I wish you a good semester also.

ha00050 said...

LOVE the fb status.
suicide? possibly a terminal illness- one that causes you to waste away and become a burden to those around you. in that situation I would

Myne Whitman said...

I asked for a DNR in my will and that is the only time I will consider suicide. And yes I also support euthanasia.

And girl, that story was really great. And that ending made it better! The husband coming back, wow and then weaving in the Lord's prayer.

Fragilelooks said...

ROTFLMAO@ FB STATUS.
LEGGY THIS IS BRILIANT STORY.
@SUICIDE: NO COMMENTS.

2cute4u said...

good flow good capture..
couple of years back.. something went wrong in my life and the guy i was supposedly see.. i almost committed suicide.. i felt that was the only option left 4 me... nothing else mattered.. little did i know that was saving the best 4 last.. now after these years.. that guy?he'd do anything for me.. me?it's like he doesn't exist..
well, i learnt not to condem suicide comtemplaters.. (if ever there's a word like that)cos when you get to that point.. it takes God, your friends and family cos you at that time have no wil left

neefemi said...

i loved the story - i think it should have ended with him finding here dead - but i loved it still, lol - i loved the facebook status as well and no, nothing is worth suicide

Sting said...

Hey leggy,
Thanks for always stopping by my blog and for ur comments. Much appreciated. Didn't really the story, sowwy. My attention span is shot at the moment. However, ur sleep 7hrs a night advice caught my eye and i had to laugh at that. How i miss undergrad.

Rene said...

At first I wasn't feeling the story because I had read several similar ones before but the twist at the end was just perfect....j'adore

a hopelessly clueless teenage gurl.. said...

Awww...I really liked this! Nicceeee!

X

histreasure said...

that was one captivating tale..u outdid urself this time..great, i say..

me, i be typical Naija babe..no matter how bad it gets, we always believe things will get better and i have to be alive for that part of life..lol..suicide is a no no..

hmmm,i love braids..sure u look beautiful!!

Tye said...

Wow, i read the whole thing (and I hardly read post that long) and it was really good!
LMAO @ the facebook status; the ridiculous thing is that its actually pretty true for some people o.
Bout the suicide thing, besides the fact that God (Yes, another Christian, can I get a hallelujah?) will be really pissed, and family and friends will be sad, I really don't think anything is worth me killing myself. Plus if you think about it practically, its plain stupid! Fine, so life is bad, what makes you think its any better on the other side?
Oh, thanks for the luck! Hope school's great for you too!

Tricia said...

I love how you structured the story. You can never imagine comitting suicide, sometimes the people think theyve reached the end;hopelessness

Smileyfreak said...

Have a great semester! :) I liked the story,the bittersweet ending was perfect!

Geebee said...

Suicide . . . The thought of it scares me now but truth is i once tried ending my life but survived miraculously. I guess it's okay to hang on bcos you just never know when your prayers will be answered. Leggy, you're a fantastic writer. I loved this piece.

Tisha said...

i would never commit suicide. i have had many situations that could have made me do it but i aint a quitter, God does come through. and i am not just an optimist.

leggy, ur writing comes from ur thot pattern, as romantic as it sounds, please don't write anything like this again.

NB bad people don't just become good, and if they do, its always a divine encounter, they probably met jesus...