Tuesday, July 20, 2010

happy :-)-->totally random

i'm feeling so much better thanks to you guys.
i spoke to my dad today and he made me laugh so much that when i dropped the phone i realised that i have so much to be thankful for.
so what if im a little tired of some people? there are still many people out there that genuinely care about me and want me to stay happy.
its been so long since i did a random here, so im going to do a random today!!

- its funny how everytime i want something unnecessary from my dad, i say:'well..unless you cant afford it..' and the man will reply saying 'expect it the day after tomorrow'.my dad has soo much pride eh, i actually learnt that trick from my mum who uses it like all the time! its funny how the man has 5 girls plus my mum who use this trick on him and he still hasnt caught up.*shakes head*

- i love music.sometimes, i'd listen to a song and think:'thats exactly how im feeling'. songs make me realise that someone somewhere has already gone through what im going through and that my problem isnt unique.it helps me a lot.
i also just realised that johannes brahms' lullaby was the piece that my mum used to 'sing' and my dad used to whistle to me during bedtime when i was little.
im currently hooked on secrets by one republic.
i dont really like rap cos apart from 5 rap artists that i actually listen to(jay,eminem,TI,kanye and drake), others dont really make sense.i just cant listen to something that i cant really say 'this is what this song is talking about'.im starting to get into B.O.B though.

-i'm a big book fan.I'd read anything.
someone actually advised me to lose myself in a book because of my last post and i took your advise and read sidney sheldon's memories of midnight.it was okay.
i'm a huge harry potter fan-->i cant count how many times ive reread those books.
random fact:the only book more translated than the harry potter series is the Bible.

-i'm not a very religious person.i go to church, i strongly believe in God but im just not that religious.i try to pray often though and i try to be a good person.i really strive to be good.
i try very hard to at least obey the golden rule:'do to others what you would like them to do to you'.
i dont understand people who would do something continuously to someone and then when people turn around and do the same to them they act surprised.
i once heard someone say:'because of the way i insult people, these people are now ganging up to insult me'-->what did you expect?!that they'd lie dormant while you insult them?smh

- have you ever had a crush on someone for like forever and suddenly you just snap out of it?!
i used to like this boy and when he asked me out i just realised:'gosh, i dont want to date him!!what did i see in him in the first place?!'..i let him down easy though.i didnt actually say that i dont like him.sometimes, i think he thinks that i still like him.*rolls eyes*

-19 is the age that my dad would let me have a boyfriend.it used to be 20 until we reached a compromise.a lot of people wonder why i kept to this age thing when my dad is like 3000miles away and wouldn't know if i had a boyfriend.i'm really close to my dad, trust me, he'd find out.i can't keep things from my dad,he always finds out.plus i just feel like my dad has sacrificed so much for his girls(thats what he calls my sisters, my mum and i), if this is the only thing he wants in return then its fine with me.its not like i even want a boyfriend now sef,
purpose of this particular info:im turning 19 in a little over 2 months.
i dont know if i should be excited.shrug. 19 is such an unimportant age.

-A lot of times when i say that ive never worn weaves(and dont see myself wearing one) people think im dissing weaves.nope, i dont care what anyone does with their hair cos frankly, no matter what anybody says its your hair.i just prefer braids or wearing my hair out thats all.

- in a lot of ways, i feel like if i had stayed in nigeria for college, my life would have been a whole lot easier and better.more friends for one. i dont really have close friends here, whenever i have issues i still call my old classmates who are all scattered around the America. i cant wait to move out of my apartment complex though.im tired of everything here.

currently listening to: daughtry - september
i really like my poetry class.i had to write a 7 paged essay and it's worth 20% of my grade.if i make an A in it then im guaranteed an A in the class so my fingers are crossed.
my physics class on the other hand isnt going too well....one of the things that is seriously depressing me.
so apparently, im underweight. i'm trying to gain 10pounds so ive been eating a lot of meat which i really dont think is going to help because thats all ive always eaten and i never gain weight.
everytime i pass a mirror or a reflective door, i look at my reflection, does that make me vain?
i have this really good friend of mine who is becoming to matured eh, its now such a pleasure having a conversation with her.

have a great week,

Monday, July 19, 2010

i'm drowning

this summer
everyone around me seems so bent on changing me
i'm surrounded by the whole world and still i feel so alone
i grope in the dark trying to find some directions
everyone seems to know how exactly i should live my life
everyone has that memo but me
i'm drowning in a very dark sea and everyone is watching me drown.
i had lunch with him last night
i talked, he listened
'you'll be fine', he said
why dont i believe that?
ive hit an all time, record-breaking low.
every night i waste in tears
but i'm strong
so every morning, i dust off my smile and put it back on
because i need to survive.

currently listening to: enya:only time.

Sunday, July 18, 2010

dear crush.

i got this from juicegal, who got it from burramint.
i'm going to write my letters but not in that particular order. im going to write all the 30 letters, i'm just going to write each one as the words come.

to the boy i have a crush on.

dear boy-i-have-a-crush-on,

i want to kiss you like vows unbroken --> bassey ikpi

i like you. like really like you. i like you like i like strawberries dipped in chocolate that you brought me for lunch in school and then made a big deal about it not being a valentine gift. i never told anyone that because i haven't liked anyone in a long time i dont want to jinx you.
i like you how i like omelet even though i might be lactose intolerant.i guess this is my way of saying that even though i really like you i still think that you are really bad for me. i like you like i like taking walks which you insist i do because i dont want to burden anyone by asking for rides and then you show up at my door every sunday to prevent me from walking the 30minutes to school. i like you for that.
i like you the way i like badly written books but i cant stop reading them because i can't believe that the editor was so stupid as to publish them. i dont even know what that means.
i like that you like me for me. that you like my weird humor and you compliment me every chance you get. girls like compliments, you would think that every boy would know that but they really don't. seriously.
i hate that you are shy.i hate that you have never given me a real hug but always complain that i skip you whenever i hug people. i like that you apologise whenever you do something that you think even remotely made me mad. i like that you have absolutely no idea how to be romantic, so that when you actually do something romantic i know that it is very genuine. i like that we have that unspoken secrecy.what we talk, text or facebook about remains totally between us. i like that you know that i only jump into the bathroom when you call me to tell me that you are on your way to my house, i like that you dont whine about having to wait for me. i like that you like me. for me.just me.

with love,

Wednesday, July 14, 2010

an unusual love story

contrary to popular belief, no songs went off when i saw him, i didnt walk in to that room in slow motion and he didnt look up at me with the sudden realisation that we were meant to be. the scenario above would have been nice but contrary to the romantic comedies, none of that happened. instead, we argued.
i said his name was ridiculous, he said he thought i was very igbo(which i am and proudly too.). so no, we didn't start off on the right foot, but at least we started off on a foot huh?that's something right?
insults became our thing, i thought he was too tall, he thought i was too tall for a girl..i said he was dumb, he said i looked like a worn out broom every time i put on heels...to which i begged to differ.

the insults turned into discussions held long into the wee hours of the night and we used to try to keep track of how many minutes we had spoken since we met, i was so sure it was 480,000minutes..he thinks its 479999minutes.
he thinks im attractive. 'i know', i always reply
he thinks im vain. 'if i dont love me who will?', i always retort.
i find that the fact that since his time in america he has never had one black girlfriend, all white, is very interesting; he thinks that the fact that i think my Japanese friends are ridiculously cute is a classic case of the pot calling the kettle black. to which i replied: but you do know that you are black right?
gazing at the stars and trying to spot stars in the starless city that we live in is our thing.

no.this isn't a post about how we fell in love, this is a post about our friendship.
the fact that he sends me hilarious voice messages whenever he travels telling me how many stars he counted in the skies.
that part of our friendship where he makes me laugh till i cant catch my breath.
he sends me pictures of very ridiculous things, like a girl with her butt crack showing with messages like:doesnt this bear a remarkable resemblance to your face?
the fact that he makes me feel good about myself whenever i talk to him.
that kind of guy who put the man in manhood
who knows how to make a girl's heart beat to his footsteps.

and even though we have 4 years between us, we still understand each other very well.
i do not finish his sentences.
i do not know what he is thinking before he says it.
but i listen to what he has to say when he does say it.

he's probably the worst cook you'd ever meet, he thinks wherever he has to put salt then sugar has to follow suit, he thinks that putting the most ridiculous things in food and adding red wine makes him a chef.

his igbo is nothing to write home about regardless of the fact that he speaks english, french and spanish fluently. so i insult him in igbo while he teaches me all the dirty words no respectable professor will teach me in french class.

this post was definitely in rambles and pieces but thats how our friendship is.full of randoms.
i spoke to him last night for two hours.
so since we've met, we've spoken for 480,120 minutes, he thinks we have spoken for 480,119minutes.
see how he infuriates me?

im late for work so im going to skip the process of looking for a favourite facebook status.
hope you guys are doing well? im so eager to move into my new apartment which comes furnished!!im shopping for beddings though.heard j.c.penny is having a sale so im definitely going to check them out!!i want to decorate in pink!!
have a good week ahead.
im updating a lot arent i?

~You'll always be my best friend, you know too much!"~

Thursday, July 8, 2010

do intentions matter?

im one of those people who dont question why people do good things, as long as someone less privileged benefited from their acts of kindness i dont care why they did what they did.

take companies who give checks to charities or donate in some other way to charities to get tax cuts, and people have the guts to criticise them. i dont care that they are only giving because they would get tax cuts, the point is:someone, somewhere benefited from them giving.what have you that is criticising them done?have you ever given to charity or helped someone along the way?
sometimes the answer is yes but still these companies donate millions of dollars to those charities;money that they obviously need.

recently, some random person helped me get through a lot of stuff that i was going through.we weren't close before this incident, he was just some white dude i used to talk to when i felt like it but he helped me with so much stuff and now we are pretty close. when i talked to my friend about this boy recently, he had the guts to say and i quote:'he was only helping you to get close to you'.
ummm...you are my friend right?you are already close to me so why didnt you help me?
i dont care why he did it, the fact is:he did it when you didnt.
as long as he didnt have any bad intentions or meant to hurt me by helping me then i dont care why he did it.

in nigeria, many people especially in the northern part believe that the prayers of a beggar is very strong, so they give a lot to beggars and stuff.
people criticise them a lot for giving just because they want the blessings that they will supposedly get by giving to these beggars.
do you think the beggar cares about the intentions of those who give him money?!
as long as they dont have any evil intentions, why should we care that they are only doing it for the 'blessings'?!

tonight, Lebron made an announcement on espn and he had a 1-hour special and he is donating all the money he made through ads and endorsements to children charities.
now, everyone is calling him narcissistic because he didnt go to team they wanted him to go to(thats a story for another day) but they are forgetting the millions of children that are going to benefit from this special.you can call him narcissistic all you want but bottom line is:he is making a difference.regardless of if he is doing it to make himself look good or if he is doing it to get more endorsements, fact of the matter is:do you think that the children that he is helping with this money cares why he is giving it to them?(he has written numerous checks to charities in the past btw).
a friend of mine had the guts to say that he didnt need to go through all that, that he could have just written them a check from his own personal account.
ummm...let me educate you:according to forbes list, Lebron made about $43m between june of last year and june of this year, according to estimates this special is going to rake in not less than $20m.is it realistic to ask someone to write a $20m check(half of his income) to a charity?that he is what?

lets face it.we are human beings and in as much as we hate to admit it, sometimes we need incentives to do good.in as much as we like to preach and pretend, the fact stil remains that if governments dont offer tax cuts when you donate to charity, 0.75 of these companies wouldnt give a dime!thats human nature.
am i saying its right?no.
but as far as im concerned as long as someone doesnt have evil intentions, the reason why he/she is doing something shouldnt matter as long as someone benefits from it.
and thats what I think!!

favourite fb comment: i wanted to drown all my problems but all those bastards could swim!

i can't sleep so pardon the way this was written, i just had an argument with my friend and just wanted to get this off by chest.
hope you have a good night and a good weekend.ciao.

Monday, July 5, 2010

a child's imaginative lies

i was talking to a friend of mine yesterday and he reminded me of when i told everyone in my set that my family and i lived in a tree and that we could only afford the school fees for a private school because we cleaned our white proprietress' house. i said it so many times that people actually believed me and treated me with such pity and i always got my way until someone saw the house that i lived in.
that made me laugh at how gullible a bunch of 9, 10,12 year olds could be and how gullible people are in general even though we'd all like to think that we can spot a very stupid, unnecessay lie.

i remember in my primary 5, a guy who was in ss1 asked me out.i was 10.i told him i was 15.

in my jss1, i told my introtech teacher that i didnt submit my homework because my mum was terminally ill and was admitted to the hospital.

in ss1, i told my physics teacher that my dog ate my homework.we didnt even have a dog.

in my jss3, i gave my literature teacher a carton of soap and vegetable oil that some random company gave my dad as a gift without my parents' permission so that she'd like me and the stupid woman came to thank my mum when she came to pick me up and my mum who obviously had no idea what the woman was thanking her for played along.i got my ass kicked that night.

i told my dad that the gay romance book i was reading was for a research about the gay community.i was in jss2, who the heck is going to ask a jss2 girl to write a paper on the gay community?!

i used to tell my mum that i had to stay late in school and that i'd follow my best friend home and my best friend would tell her folks the same thing just so that we could bike home.we loved biking home.i mean seriously, the wind on your face is awesome.

everytime a guy asks me out, i always go the 'its not you, its me' route. im always like 'i cant date someone now, i just cant but i really like you' but what im actually saying is 'get a clue, i stopped liking you a month ago and you knew from the first day that i met you that i dont want a boyfriend what made you think you'd change my mind?!'.

my friend paul in my primary one was always insulting me so i told him that my mum is a doctor and that shes a very mean and wicked person and she said that she'd come to his house at night and cut off his lips.needless to say, i got into a lotttttttt of trouble when his parents found out that the reason why their son wasnt sleeping was because i threatened him.

for some reason when i was little, i used to think i was a witch so i used to threaten my sisters and i used to say that i'd suck their blood- i really dont know where that came from but if you had three older sisters like i do, you'd make up something to save your ass from getting kicked.needless to say, they beat the witchcraft out of me.

i once licked a plate clean after eating with it and told my mum that i washed it and she used it to put food for a guest who came to our house that sunday.i felt so bad, my sisters sha thought it was HIGH-larious when i told them.i guess by now you can tell that we didnt like this particular guest.he came every sunday during lunch time to see 'my dad'.yeah right.

my househelp one time couldnt read and this guy wrote her a love letter and she made me read it to her and write a reply to the guy. i didnt like her plus she always made sure i ate my vegetables or she'd tell my mum so i wrote that she was pregnant and in need of a man who can handle the responsiblities of being a father.ofcourse, the guy avoided her like a plague after that.i think she always suspected me cos she treated me so bad after that.

i told my friends in primary school that my dad is a police man.i dont know why i did that, i just felt like saying that he is an engineer was going to be boring.so i said police man.

i once told my friends that we didnt have electricity and that the phone they used to call me was my neighbours' and we watched movies and tv through their window.i dont know why i said that.i just thought it'd be funny.

i loved making up stories when i was little and the most ridiculous thing is that when i actually needed to lie, i'd always tell the truth, like whenever something happened at home, my mum would always ask me cos she always knew i'd tell her the truth.i always had a very ridiculous imaginative mind growing up, i could come up with such colourful stories and convince YOU that it's reality. now, i lead a very boring life.now, i never lie.lies always have a way of catching up with you,so i just never do it.i'd rather not tell you something than lie to you.

okay, this is the part where you tell me a really funny white lie you've told to someone or made someone tell.i'd really love to hear them.

favourite facebook quote:" I have learned in whatever state I am, to be content -Philippians 4:12"

hope you had a fun 4th of july-i got sick but it still turned out great. i was watching episodes of bones and i'm living alone this summer so i got a little paranoid and scared so i spent half the night with my friends.
so today, im grateful that i have friends who don't think its ridiculous that i got a little scared.
have a great week.